


Saturday Morning Hero in the Making

by Piichu



Series: Glitch in the System (Hero in the Making) [1]
Category: Freakazoid (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Canon Rewrite, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Minor Character Death, god this is gonna get long folps, how many characters are in this?, i'm finally puttin my bullshit out there yehaw, kind of??? idk what to tag a reboot as but its v different from the org verse, too many - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-21
Updated: 2019-01-17
Packaged: 2019-05-09 23:24:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14725580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Piichu/pseuds/Piichu
Summary: Sixteen year old Dexter Douglas gets the pinnacle chip for Christmas, only for the glitch to activate the hero you're presumably reading this entire fanfiction for-- Freakazoid! What sort of wacky adventures and hijinks will ensue? And can Dexter learn to accept the blue-skinned superhero now living in his head, among other things?First part of the 'Glitch in the System (Hero in the Making)' series, which is a reboot interpretation of Freakazoid!





	1. Jingle Bells Swing

**Author's Note:**

> Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock  
> Jingle bells swing and jingle bells ring  
> Snowing and blowing up bushels of fun  
> Now the jingle hop has begun  
> \- Jingle Bell Rock

Dexter groaned, alarm blaring to wake him up as he pulled the covers over his head. He knew it was Christmas morning, but did it really have to be _this_ early? He shouldn't have stayed up so late last night… just five more minutes...

"COME ON DEXTER DORK-GLAS _WAKE UP_ ," as if on cue Duncan was banging on his door, "MOM TOOK WORK OFF FOR THIS! YOU BETTER NOT SLEEP ALL DAY LIKE YOU DID _LAST_ YEAR! I'LL DRAG YOU OUT OF BED--"

"I'M UP _I'M UP_." Dexter yelled back, springing out of bed and putting his glasses on. He threw open his closet, looking for something to throw on so he could go downstairs. He picked up a green, white, and red striped sweater that had a dark red silhouette of Santa and his reindeer stitched on the front. Ugly Christmas sweater from last year? Yes, absolutely. He couldn't betray that Christmas tradition.

"DEXTER _DOOORK_ -GLAS--"

"I'M _COMING_." Dexter shimmied some jeans on, quickly put on sneakers, and opened his door just as Duncan was about to bang on the door again, hand hovering over where the door was as Dexter stared at Duncan's orange curls and black eyes.

"You finally got up! It took you long enough!" Duncan crossed his arms.

"Yeah," Dexter yawned, rubbing his eyes, "after you were about to tear my door off."

"It was for a good reason." Duncan said.  "And you're actually wearing that thing?"

"Yeah? And? It's to get in the spirit." And he bet it was also a good reason to be a _jerk_.

"Ugh, whatever. You're so lame. I bet you're only wearing that to suck up to mom." Duncan said, putting his hands in his hoodie pockets, "Just come down already. Mom sent me because you wouldn't get up, as usual. What would you do without me waking you up every morning? You'd have so many tardies even your good grades couldn't save you." Duncan turned around before Dexter could answer, going down the hallway.

Dexter rolled his eyes, going to the bathroom to get ready-- he looked like a mess. His brown hair all out of place and bags under his eyes that while at a glance appeared to be black, were actually dark brown. Couldn't Duncan just chill out? For one minute? On Christmas? He brushed his hair into place and quickly brushed his teeth, in case Duncan might come back up and rush him on _that_ too. He came out and jogged down the stairs to find Duncan sitting by the tree, looking smug.

"You finally got down here, _Dork_ -glas."

Ah, Duncan, ever so clever to use the same insult multiple times, "You _are_ aware that every time you call me 'Dorkglas'," he made airquotes, "You're saying you're also Dorkglas because we share the same last name?"

"Well-- it doesn't count towards me, Dorkglas. I'm not the one who's a nerd."

Dexter rolled his eyes, taking a seat by the tree (and trying to distance himself from Duncan), "Stop calling me that."

"Or what D _oo_ rkglas?" Duncan moved to punch Dexter in the shoulder.

"Hey!" Dexter shuffled away, "Stop hitting me!"

"I'm not the one who was gonna sleep in Christmas morning!"

"I was up before you were banging on my door!" Dexter pushed away his brother, who was now pushing Dexter back, both of their hands in each other's faces.

"Boys..." Debbie looked at them tiredly from the kitchen doorway, dressed in a pink robe with her orange hair still in a bit of a mess, in her hand a red mug with white 'Happy Holidays' text on it, "Can we not fight on Christmas?"

Both of them froze and looked at her, their hands slowly returning to both of their sides, "Sorry mom..." both of them mumbled, turning away from each other.

"Now apologize."

Dexter sighed. Why did he have to apologize? Duncan always started it! "I'm sorry I... insulted you."

"And sorry I called you Dorkglas." Duncan said, looking down.

"And?" Debbie watched expectantly.

"... And sorry I hit your arm."

" _And_?" Debbie made a 'go on' motion.

"... AndsorryIwokeyouupreallyrudelybybangingonyourdoorandyellinginsteadofwakingyouuppolietlylikemomsaidto."

"Thank you." she said, smiling, "I just want you two to get along on Christmas, is all... Do you want some cocoa before we start opening presents?"

"Yeah!" Dexter nodded eagerly.

"I want some." Duncan agreed, "Make sure to add marshmallows!"

"I will!" Debbie called back from the kitchen.

"... So, Duncan," Dexter said, a devilish smile coming onto his face upon seeing the opportunity for some revenge, "Why aren't _you_ wearing your sweater?"

"What? You know it's worse than yours is."

"Sooo," Dexter leaned his head on his hand, "You're saying you hate it?"

"Well, no--"

"I mean, I'm sure mom isn't hurt at all by the fact that you're not wearing the sweater she _lovingly_ bought with her hard earned money for you."

"Come ooon, I really don't wanna wear it.."

Dexter shrugged, "I mean, if that's how you really feel about it, I could always tell mom..."

Duncan groaned, "Fiine, I'll go and put it on!" Duncan stood up, stomping back up the stairs.

Debbie came back into the living room with two mugs in hand, "You know," she said, handing Dexter his mug, "I really don't..."

She was interrupted by the sight of Duncan in a white and green sweater with tiny bells stitched in, ringing to the beat of him coming down the stairs. Dexter could tell from her wry smile that she was trying to hold back at least a giggle from the sight of him in it.

"... Thanks, mom." Duncan mumbled, taking his hot cocoa and sipping it.

"Wow, Duncan, your sweater looks _great_!" Dexter said, making sure to sound extra enthusiastic about it.

"Shut up."

"Duncan, be nice." Debbie said, "Besides, I'm sure he only told you that because he wanted you to be... in the spirit of things..." she ended up giggling into her hand.

Duncan went red at this point, and looked ready to punch Dexter again if not for Debbie's disapproving eye.

"Anyways," Debbie said, putting her hands together, "I hope you boys are ready for some presents! I promise Santa brought both of you something special this year!"

"Moom, come on, you know that--"

"We both totally believe in Santa!" Duncan immediately interrupted Dexter.

Dexter swore he kept up the 'we still believe in Santa' thing to embarrass him.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A great big thank you to all my beta readers!! You really helped me to polish the start of this story! <3 (and also to all the fans of freakazoid in general, ya'll are my huge inspiration in getting me to write this).


	2. My Christmas List is Very Short This Year

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Santa Claus, I know you are busy  
> But please don't forget me  
> I really want that pony  
> I've waited oh, so patiently  
> To see presents under the tree  
> I even left some cookies
> 
> \- Mars Argo, Pls Don’t Forget Me

The Douglas family sat around the tree, Debbie watching as Dexter and Duncan opened their presents. They were mostly little things, socks and underwear and the like. To Duncan's distress, he and Dexter got _another_ pair of ugly Christmas sweaters. This continued until there were two, noticeably larger presents under the tree, and Debbie appeared particularly eager for them to get to opening them.

Duncan grabbed his first, pulling it towards him, "What's in this thing? It's really heavy."

"Why don't you open it and find out?" Debbie encouraged.

He tore open the wrapping paper, undoing the bow and opening the present before peeking in and lifting a small dumbbell, "They're... weights."

Debbie continued to watch carefully, her face falling bit when Duncan seemed less than enthused, "If they're not what you wanted, then after my next paycheck--"

"No mom, they're _definitely_ what I wanted!" Duncan insisted, lifting the dumbbell further and flexing, "They'll go great with my other weight sets-- I'm gonna be really prepared for this football season. Thanks, mom." Duncan's grin let loose a sigh of relief from Debbie.

What Duncan didn't have in smarts he made up for in being a complete jock (and jerk). Of course he'd be happy to get _more_ weights.

"Hey, mom," Duncan pulled out a box from under the tree that had been hidden among all the other presents, "Santa didn't forget about you either."

Debbie looked surprised, taking the present and opening it to reveal a kitchenware set, "Oh, thank you honey, but you really didn't have to..." she placed the present aside, pursing her lips into a smile.

"The stuff we have is getting kind of old anyways, and I _had_ to get a present for you mom!" Duncan insisted.

Dexter rubbed the back of his neck, face feeling hot from embarrassment as he glanced at the Christmas card he'd given her a few days ago, now sitting on top of the fireplace mantel, "I, uh, well-- I don't really have anything to give you..." getting a present for his mom skipped his mind entirely, especially with what he'd been saving up for: The _Pinnacle Chip_ , a newer computer chip that came out earlier this year. He had his heart set on getting it as soon as he found out what it could do for a computer, but didn't have enough to buy it by Christmas, and he especially didn't expect mom to have enough for it with how tight things were now.

"Don't worry about it, honey. If anything, the biggest present for me is having both of you here."

"Mooom, that's so cheesy!" Dexter couldn't help but laugh a little.

"Now go on, you still have a present left."  she gestured to the tree.

With mom gazing expectantly at him, Dexter went for his present next. Despite how big was it was... weirdly really light. He felt a bit bad for having to undo such a carefully tied bow, opening it to reveal... another box inside. He opened this box to reveal yet _another_ box inside that one. Okay, something was up, and the grin that mom was giving him made him think that this was some sort of prank, but he'd play along.

Duncan lost it completely, howling with laughter by the third, even smaller box, "Oh man," he said, holding up his phone, "I should have started recording this earlier!"

"Do you really... have to take a video of this?" Dexter said, hesitant to start on this box. Why didn't _Duncan_ get a prank-present too?

"I think it's nice, so we can look back at this as a family. Hm, maybe I should have asked one of you to take a video earlier..."

Oh, great, he couldn't wait to be in a video titled _'BEST CHRISTMAS PRANK EVER?!_ ' He sighed, desperately not wanting to be a part of this, but knowing that by family obligations (and not wanting to make mom sad on Christmas), he didn't have much of a choice. Just get the humiliation over with. Unsurprisingly, in this 'present', was yet another, little box. Dexter squinted suspiciously at his mom, who had her hand over her mouth, obviously struggling to contain her own laughter.

"Go on, Dexter, keep opening the presents." Debbie gestured to the current box.

"Yeah Dexter," Duncan mocked, "don't you want to see what your _present_ is?" the phone focused on Dexter's cringing face.

"Yay... can't wait to see what it's going to be..." Dexter mumbled. He pulled the smaller box out into his lap, fully anticipating a somehow smaller box inside this one, and there was, also neatly wrapped up with a bow that seemed to encompass half of its size. Duncan's laughter was deafening. He began unwrapping it, already expecting a somehow, even tinier box-- wait. This... had text on it. In huge letters, printed was **_'PRODUCED BY APEX INDUSTRIES'._ **

"You got me the _Pinnacle Chip?!"_ In Dexter's excitement his voice cracked, rising an octave.

"Wait, there was an actual _present_ in all that?" Duncan asked, dumbfounded.

Debbie had her hands together, beaming to see her son so delighted, "So I take it you like the present? You didn't actually think I got you a bunch of boxes, did you?"

"Well-- y- _yeah_! But, I didn't think..." Dexter trailed off, still staring at the gift he thought he'd never get.

"I moved some finances here and there, and the Christmas bonus _really_ came in handy this year..." Debbie was interrupted by Dexter throwing his arms around her, to which she immediately reciprocated.

"Now I feel really bad I didn't get you something this year..." Dexter pulled  away from the hug.

"Honestly, your reaction was a gift in of itself." interrupting the moment was her ringtone in the distance, her face falling, "It better not be who I think it is..." she got up, going to her purse that sat on the kitchen counter, "Hello? What-- I _requested_ Christmas off! I told you weeks ago, and now you suddenly need someone to cover a shift?" the boys sat quietly as her voice carried.

"I told you! I have Christmas off-- I can't--" a pause, Debbie heavily sighing, "... I'll be there in an hour, _sir_." she came in, guilt spread all over her face, "Boys, I'm so sorry, but..."

"You have to go?" Duncan looked up, "That's okay, mom. We understand."

"Yeah," Dexter said reluctantly, "It was really great while you were here."

"It's better than that year you weren’t here with us at all." Duncan continued.

"Thank you for understanding... I promise, later we'll have a great Christmas dinner. Can one of you make sure to take out the ham so that it thaws?" with that said, she went off to get ready. Dexter stared at his phone. It was times like this he wished dad was still here, and not six feet underground. His phone buzzed, indicating he got a message:

 **Jill:** hey dex! having a nice christmas dude?

 


	3. All Of My Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> But all of my friends  
> Help me go  
> And all of my friends  
> Let me know  
> That it's all in my head  
> There's no room to be blue  
> Everything will be fine  
> I'll be making it through
> 
> \- Tally Hall, All of My Friends

Dexter texted his answer back to Jill.

**Dexter:** Really great, actually! well i mean other than duncan being... duncan. wbu?

"Come on Dex, stop staring at your phone and help me clean up." Duncan scolded.

"I'll help, get off my back." Dexter responded, putting his phone in his pocket, "... You know," he said, beginning to pick up the boxes upon boxes that were used for his present, "Mom never said _you_ were in charge."

Duncan rolled his eyes, "I'm oldest so that automatically means I'm in charge, duh." he balled up wrapping paper.

"By one year."

"It’s enough of a difference."

Dexter cleaned up a portion of the mess, and gathered the other presents he'd gotten. Another buzz from his phone indicated that Jill responded.

**Jill:** for one thats cool, glad to hear youre having a good time, although sorry about your bro being a jerk as usual. i wish i could be there to hit him in the shoulder for ya or somethin.

**Dexter:** Eh, by now i'm used to him being like at all hours of the day. dw about it

**Jill:** and i had a pretty good christmas... up until dad decided he had to do his hero act. :/

**Dexter:** Really? on Christmas? what the heck

**Jill:** i know! i tell him 'hey like someone else will get to those cats stuck in those trees' but then by the time i do hes already gone!!!

**Jill:** sorry for kinda venting to you there buddy, dont wanna bring down the mood of your christmas.

**Dexter:** Dw it's cool

**Jill:** and im hoping he comes back like... in time for christmas dinner or whatever. he literally didnt learn from that time he was trapped in a tree for like, ten hours. and he didnt climb down because 'he'd rip his suit' or somethin. :/

**Jill:** but hey ive brought down the mood enough.

**Dexter:** No worries... you mind if i kind of vent something too?

**Jill:** yeah go ahead.

**Dexter:** My mom's boss called her in when she asked for _Christmas_ off

**Jill:** oh my god??? really???? ugh thats so BAD!

**Dexter:** I know! as of late her boss has just been getting... steadily worse and it sucks. 8/ even my job is giving me until new years off

**Jill:** im really really sorry about that dude.

**Dexter:** Again dw about it, but i wish that things were... simpler? i guess? bleh i'm still in a good mood from what i got though

**Jill:** oh really? what cool stuff you get dude?

**Dexter:** Hold on i gotta make sure Mr. Chubbikins is fed

**Jill:** kk.

He went into the kitchen area, grabbing a can of Mr. Chubbikins's food and opening it to pour almost half the can into the cat's bowl.

"If you didn't feed him so much," Duncan passed Dexter, putting the paper scraps in the trash, "then maybe your cat wouldn't be so _fat_."

Dexter put a hand on his heart, acting aghast, "And let him _starve?_ On _Christmas?_ Duncan, you scourge!"

"He wouldn't ‘starve’ if you fed him a little less..." Duncan mumbled. They finally parted ways, Dexter heading up stairs with the Pinnacle Chip package in hand as he was texting Jill.

**Dexter:** Sorry for the wait

**Jill:** np bro.

**Todd:** MERRY CHRISTMAS GUYS!!!!!

**Jill:** oh hey todd!

**Dexter:** Hey todd

**Todd:** How's everyone's Christmas??

**Jill:** mine was p good up until like... dad did... the hero stuff.

**Dexter:** Mine's going pretty great

**Todd** : That's good!!! I've been having a really awesome Christmas here too. But I'm sorry about your dad doing... hero stuff again Jill. :(

**Jill:** eh by now i'm... unfortunately kind of expecting it. and dex you never answered what you got dude.

**Dexter:** Nothing much, mostly socks and stuff...

**Dexter:** Except my mom actually got me the PINNACLE CHIP

**Todd:** WOAH??? Really??! That's so cool!!

**Jill:** thats really rad dude! i know you were talking about it non stop for awhile.

**Dexter:** I didn't expect her to get it for me but she did!

**Jill:** okay so like i know nothing of this type of stuff so like... what does the pinnacle chip do exactly for your computer.

Dexter approached his room. Mr. Chubbikins was curled up in a large, orange ball on a swirly chair by the desk, but immediately came to life at the sound of his owner opening the door. Mr. Chubbikins moved the desk chair backwards as he hopped off, hobbling towards Dexter and almost tripping him over when he moved between his legs.

"Buddy, you almost made me fall over!" He lightly chidded, kneeling down to scratch Mr. Chubbikins back, to which the cat made a satisfied _'mrrrow'_ noise to and continued rubbing against Dexter's hand, "Don't worry, I didn't forget about feeding you either..." As if understanding him, the cat brushed past him and made his way down the hall, also nearly making Duncan fall over at his cry of  _FREAKING CAT !"_

**Dexter:** Uuh lemme try and explain this... it's a really good cpu, basically, top of the line too. and cpus are like the brains of the computer, processing stuff, so basically i got my laptop a better brain

**Jill:** oh yeah! i remember you explaining this to me before.

**Dexter:** Thing is usually these things would run for like... thousands of dollars? and apex's base price for these was $899.99 which is still a lot but... again waay cheaper than they usually are, not even taking into account the christmas discounts + possible price lowering from the latest controversy?

**Todd:** Oh! I think I remember reading about that. Wasn't their PR person fired?

**Jill:** again im like clueless on this stuff so.

**Todd:** https://www.hoppingwomandaily.org/news/apex-pr-front-fired/

**Todd:** I think it was this big thing of their PR person and lead programmer being let go because of creative differences.

**Dexter:** I dunno how much of that is the actual truth but... i read a lot about the chip beforehand and it had really good reviews, so shrug?

**Dexter:** It's been a long time since apex made anything which is a shame? i know they made really good stuff in the past that wasn't super pricey but then they just sort of... stopped releasing stuff as regularly

**Todd** : The Valve of computer companies.

**Dexter:**  Yeah

**Todd:** Hey guys I gotta go, dad wants me to watch some Christmas specials with him. Have a good rest of Christmas day!!!

**Jill:** wait todd which dad.

**Dexter:** I'll talk to you guys later too, i have to install this chip and see how it works-- if all goes well i'll have a way faster computer!

**Jill:** kk, you have a good rest of christmas day too dude.

**Dexter:** Same to you!

He set down the Pinnacle Chip package and turned his laptop upside down, rummaging for a screwdriver inside the desk drawer, among screws and bolts and the other items that sat in there. Time to install this chip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> quick disclaimer about the link in the fic: it doesn't actually lead anywhere, i just thought it'd be neat to make a fake link.  
> again, a huge thank you to all of my beta readers!! to anyone who might be confused as to who todd is: he's a reboot-version of fanboy (far better than how he is in the original cartoon, i swear), some of the ideas behind him helped by the official freakasquad discord server! (if any of ya'll are reading this you're all awesome <3).   
> [Todd's](https://i.imgur.com/zhz3oMi.jpg) redesign and [Dexter's](https://i.imgur.com/BXXszPh.png) redesign have been drawn by [Grif-ball](http://grif-ball.tumblr.com/)  
> another huge thank you to the friend who helped me with making the computer info a little more accurate than it otherwise would have been with my limited knowledge.


	4. Particle Man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is he a dot, or is he a speck?  
> When he's underwater does he get wet?  
> Or does the water get him instead?  
> Nobody knows, Particle Man
> 
> \- Particle Man, They Might be Giants

Dexter screwed off the back of his laptop, and soon enough there were computer parts strewn all over his desk as he carefully completed complicated computer surgery. Over the years he continually modified his laptop to the point of where it was a Frankenstein of various parts (and yes, he's  _ very _ aware that Frankenstein is the doctor, not the monster). It's a tad more tricky to mechanically customize a laptop than it would be a desktop setup, but he found it worth it for the portability aspect of it. He painstakingly placed the chip inside, and with that done, now came the fun part of putting it all together. Dexter actually found the act of taking apart computers and putting them back together strangely calming, and it was something he could lose himself in easily, like more convoluted Lego pieces. 

As Dexter saw it, such a hobby isolated him from his peers. He couldn't imagine anyone other than Todd understanding what he was doing here, and maybe Jill when he sat down and explained this stuff to her, otherwise who else would listen to a geek go on all day about tech stuff? Okay, maybe the computer club that Todd had always been bugging him to join, but... Dexter consistently put that off for another day. He was comfortable in his little friend group, even if Jill graduating would reduce that to just he and Todd, but it's not like Jill couldn't still talk to them while she was in college or whatever else she wanted to do after high-school, right? 

Finally, after all that, the chip was installed in his laptop, and Dexter turned it on. Mr. Chubbikins came trotting back in after his Christmas meal, strolling over to Dexter and with a preparation wiggle, hopped right into Dexter's lap just as Dexter finished going through the startup screens. Mr. Chubbikins purred happily at Dexter's touch, but perked up when he saw the mouse's cursor. Dexter noticed that he was following it with his head. Amused, Dexter slowly moved his cursor across the screen, watching as Mr. Chubbikins starred diligently, and when he picked up speed, the cat still observed intently. It was cute up until Mr. Chubbikins pounced onto the laptop keyboard, trying to bat at the cursor. Upon doing so he unintentionally opened up the command prompt, and entered the following keystrokes by complete chance:

_ "@[=g3,8d]\&fbb=-q]/hk%fg" _

"Hey--  _ no!" _ Dexter scolded, picking up Mr. Chubbikins who let out a 'mrrow', struggling against Dexter's light grip. The last thing Mr. Chubbikins's paw hit before Dexter set him down on the floor was the  _ delete _ key. 

When Dexter looked back at his screen, he was met with a very particular sight of his screen glowing ominously, "Huh? What the--" a flash of colors hit Dexter all at once.

"Mrrow?" Mr. Chubbikins jumped on his owner's lap, concerned when Dexter continued to just stare blankly at his computer, not reacting to anything else around him. But mentally, Dexter felt himself being pulled towards the computer screen's flashing, swirling colors, like a vortex sucking him in. 

And then he was falling among a mess of wires and electricity. He tried screaming, but his voice locked up, and all he could do was helplessly go down, like one of those dreams where you were plummeting and you'd wake up just as you hit the ground-- 

\--

_ "Dex, are you done with your superhero yet?" Dexter's playmate asked him, head leaning on her hand as she watched Dexter draw.  _

_ "Hold ooon, I'm almost done..." Dexter remained focused, gripping his blue crayon.  _

_ "Don't use all the blue!" his friend responded, making a grabby hand for it.  _

_ "I’m nooot, I’m just using it for this… There! Done!" he held up his drawing proudly.  _

_ "... Why is'he just wearing a red suit?" playmate tilted her head.  _

_ "It's nota' suit!" Dexter quickly interjected, "He's wearing pajamas." _

_ "Pajamas?" _

_ "Yeah! So when he gets up he can fight crime!"  _

_ "Woow..." his friend nodded sagely, understanding this line of logic, "What about his feet?" _

_ "Socks!" Dexter answered.   _

_ "Ooh..." A pause, "... What's his name?" _

_ "... Um..." Dexter stared at the drawing, stumped, "... I dunno..." _

_ "He has F on his suit--" _

_ "Pajamas." Dexter quickly corrected.  _

_ "His pajamas," playmate said, "So maybe... something with F?" _

_ "Frankie?" _

_ "No, that's too normal!" playmate shook her head, "You need something that's what a superhero would sound like." _

_ "Oh... uh..." Dexter was in deep thought about this, "Oh, oh, I know, what about--" _

\--

Dexter woke up. At least, he thought he did, when he was met with the sight of a large, blue man with a maniacal grin standing over him, a black circular mask covering his face. Dexter yelped, scooting back, "Wh-who are you?!" he looked around, finding himself somewhere he could only describe as coming from the set of  _ Tron _ (the 80s one, not the sequel. Not that the sequel was bad but Dexter personally preferred the original). Everything was composed of multicolored boards with various, microchip like lines carved into them, all glowing lightly, "Where... am I?" did he die, and now he was in some weird, ironic purgatory? 

"I dunno, and I dunno!" blue man piped up, "And I sure hope it's not purgatory, 'cause I think I was just born. Hurrah, I  _ exist _ !" he bounced on the soles of his feet. 

Dexter paused, "Did you... Did you _read_ my _thoughts_? From my _head?_ **_What_**?" Dexter shakily said, bewildered and wanting to arouse from this weird, absurd dream. He didn't think himself to be a lucid dreamer, but there was a first for everything? But when you realize it's a dream, at least he _assumed_ this was a dream, maybe a nightmare, didn't you usually wake up? Unless he was trapped in a dream? Was this a dream? Oh god, please say this is just a dream, he didn’t want to think of a reality where this was actually happening. 

"You sure inner monologue a lot." blue man pointed out. 

"Would you  _ stop _ that?!" Dexter continued to scoot back, unnerved by how...  _ weirdly _ familiar this man was to him, a distant memory come to life. Now farther away, he got a better look at the rest of this strange figure, who wore what appeared to be a red suit with white gloves, and feet that were colored the same--

"It's not a suit, they're  _ pajamas _ .” blue man said matter of factly with his hands on his hips, "And these are  _ socks _ ." he picked up a foot to demonstrate.  

Dexter ignored the comment, examining the rest of him. Blue man's hair stood up, slightly swooshing down in a curved motion, all black except for two, white electric-shaped highlights. Not only that, but staring even more, it was like he was looking at a... weird, warped version of himself, except if he put his own picture through one of those generators that made you look really silly and weird. The facial similarities were uncanny, except unlike Dexter, blue man had a skinny, but muscular build to him, particularly in how wide his shoulders were, resembling an upside-down triangle shape in contrast to Dexter's rather thin frame. 

Dexter's eyes rested on the yellow 'F!' symbol that was in front of a black oval. There was something on the tip of his tongue, and it hit him, the imaginary superhero he made up in 2nd grade with a friend he now  _ kind of _ didn't speak to anymore since middle school (it was complicated), "Freakazoid?" 

"Is'that my name?" 'Freakazoid' pulled on his suit-- oh, sorry, _pajamas_ , looking at the symbol on it, "Must be, I'm the only one with an F here! Oh boy, oh boy oh boy  _ oh boy _ !" Freakazoid hopped up and down, excited, "I have'a  _ name _ now!" before Dexter could react, Freakazoid scooped him up, and in that moment when Freakazoid hugged Dexter very tightly, swinging him around, he realized how Mr. Chubbikins felt when he didn't want to be picked up. 

Dexter settled on the conclusion that this might be some dying dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as usual, a big thanks to my beta readers!! and to my friend again for making sure some of the other technical stuff was correct... not the... weird internet realm stuff though... that's distinctly fictional.


	5. To Call Their Own

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some think the world is made for fun and frolic,  
> And so do I! And so do I!  
> Some think it well to be all melancholic,  
> To pine and sigh; to pine and sigh
> 
> \- A Merry Life, Edward Oxenford

Dexter struggled against the blue guy tightly holding him, "Lemme go!" This was met with Freakazoid abruptly dropping Dexter onto the ground knocking Dexter's glasses off. His world became a blurry mess of unclear lights and shapes. In his fuzzy-sighted panic, he squinted and tried to feel for where his glasses were.

"Wow, how do you see with these things? Everything's so unclear, like I'm underwater!" Freakazoid commented, Dexter unable to see the sight of a Freakazoid with cartoonishly bigger eyes because he was now wearing Dexter's square glasses.

"Because they're not _meant_ for you!" Dexter yelled in frustration, "Give them to me!" A gloved hand was shoved in Dexter's face, and it took him a moment to realize that the object in the hand was his own glasses. Dexter put them on-- ugh, now they had smudges from blue man putting his hands on the lenses. Well, _more_ smudges. Dexter let out a large sigh, wiping a hand over his face, "I can't believe this... I'm stuck with a manifestation of something I made in second grade in some weird computer place." saying it out loud didn't make the situation anymore logical. Was there anyway out of here?

"Uh... Dexter?"

Assuming the dreaming and being dead theories weren't true. Unless he was in a coma? What if he was in a coma this _entire time_? Of course, that'd be the kind of curveball life would throw at him.

"Dexter, Deeexter, _Deeex--"_

"What?!" Dexter looked up at him, brows furrowed, "What do you want _now?"_ He'd rather be trapped in weird tron-realm alone than with this freak any longer. Currently, 'coma dream that was falling apart and this is his brain's way of handling it' seemed like the most likely possibility to him now.

"That's super generic," Freakazoid said, before rapidly moving onto what he bothered Dexter for, "And I found a thing!" Freakazoid pointed to a blue, glowing doorway.

Dexter blinked. How did he... not notice that before? He got up, hesitantly approaching and anticipating that this place would become more bizarre. When he got closer, he noticed that the top of the doorway had digital green numbers above it, separated by several periods... like an IP address.

"Maybe it's a way out, Dex!" Freakazoid said excitedly, presenting the door proudly, "I dunno though, 'cause Google Maps isn't showing anything! You think they'd appreciate a guide of 'weird internet realm place'?"

"... I don't remember making you this... _random_?" Dexter questioned, although granted, by now a lot of second grade memories were unclear.

"It's 'cause I'm always connected!" Freakazoid said, as if it made perfect sense, "Like DRM!"

"... Okay." Dexter rubbed the bridge of his nose. Fine, nightmare dimension can do whatever it wants, he's given up questioning this place. Taking a breath, Dexter put his hand forward, passing through the glowing blue doorway. He almost flinched back as if his hand might be fried off but… it didn’t feel like it was hurting at all, "W-wait, how do we-- how do _I_ know this will lead back to where I came from?" 

"I dunno!" At this point the statement became a catchphrase for Freakazoid, "And wait, you said we... does that mean I can come with you?"

"... Uh... that was, because, well because, _we_ discovered the doorway but it's _me_ who's going through it so..." Dexter rubbed the back of his neck.

Freakazoid put on big puppy dog eyes, "I'll get really  _really_ lonely, an'..." he begged, putting his hands together, "Pleeease oh please lemme come with you! I don't wanna be stuck here either! There's all these glowin' lights an' stuff an' I don' know what any of it does! An', an'..."

"Okay, okay so," Dexter put his hands up, "Finicula's _already_ full of a bunch of weird people... so I guess you wouldn't stand out much..." did he like blue guy generated from his imagination? No. And he wasn't about to let him stay at his house, but he deserved a chance to go into the outside world. He seemed pretty harmless… This was assuming the doorway portal thing worked, or that, again, any of this was real. Dexter didn't know anymore.

"Oh! That place is in Washington, right? Boy oh boy, I can't wait to visit all those presidential monuments--"

"Not Washington D.C." Dexter corrected, "The _state_ of Washington."

"Oh..." Freakazoid paused, "Well, still neater than this internet place!"

Other than being home to a few tech companies, Finicula had its origins in starting as a failed investment to try and make a vacation town by the coast that slowly became the town it was now. In any case, Freakazoid was right, it _was_ better than whatever this place was. 

"So let's get going! Joy is everywhere, _funiculì, funiculà!"_ he sang, grabbing Dexter and putting him under his arm. Before Dexter could protest about being picked up, they went through the doorway together.

\--

Dexter came to with Mr. Chubbikins curled up in his lap, legs slightly numb from how long the cat was napping on him. He felt dazed, and checked his laptop to reassure himself it was still Christmas day, albeit now a few hours later into the afternoon. It must have been an impromptu nap, tired from staying up so late and Duncan waking him so early. A jolt of electricity froze him, causing Mr. Chubbikins to become startled and leap away. 

In an instant, Dexter's body rapidly spun like a tornado and shifted into Freakazoid, who was fascinated by everything around him, but _especially_ by the orange cat hissing at him from under the desk. Naturally, Freakazoid went with his best cat-calming instinct: kneeling down on all fours and excitedly yelling, "KITTY _KITTY_ **_KITTY_**.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to explain the song choice-- i discovered in my research that dexter's address in the original show referenced the song 'Funiculì, Funiculà', so... really, i couldn't resist using the english version of the song. and to make sure there isn't any confusion: in this reboot, finicula is a fictional town in washington that this reboot takes place in instead of washington dc.


	6. I'm Not The Best You Could Have Obtained

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In a few weeks, I will get time to realise  
> It's right before my eyes  
> And I can take it if it's what I want to do  
> I am leaving and this is starting to feel like  
> It's right before my eyes  
> And I can taste it, it's my sweet beginning  
>   
> \- Two Door Cinema Club, What You Know

Mr. Chubbikins hissed and batted at this strange blue man approaching.

"Come ooon, kitty _kitty_ ," Freakazoid baby talked to the cat, "Kiiity, lemme hold yooou--" in a bolt of electricity, he shifted back into Dexter on his hands and knees.

"... _Mrooow?"_ Chubbikins put a gentle paw on a dazed Dexter.

"Wh..." Dexter shifted back into Freakazoid, to which Mr. Chubbikins counted his losses and immediately bolted faster than if fresh food was in his bowl, "Aaw... Kitty..." Freakazoid frowned,  turning back into Dexter, "No, nooo, no no no this _can't_ be happening," Dexter got up and immediately ran out the door, barreling down the hallway and shoving past Duncan on his way to the bathroom.

"What the heck, Dorkglas!"

"NotimesorryIreallyneedtotakeatinklebye!" Dexter slammed the bathroom door behind him, leaning on it and taking a deep breath. He paused. No change. Maybe... it... wasn't happening? He slowly approached the bathroom mirror, looking at himself and pulling at the bottom of his eyelids, looking into his mouth... still him. He didn't think that finally having a breakdown at the age of sixteen would ever be reassuring, but it was preferable than the thought that this was actually real and now he was turning into a blue man and-- He shifted back into Freakazoid, who grinned at himself in the mirror.

"Wow, is this what I look like?" Freakazoid examined himself, "I was afraid I'd be a neon shade of blue! Glad to know I don't have the color-scheme of a Geocities site!"

He turned back into Dexter, now pulling on his hair, _"THIS IS REAL?!"_ Dexter yelled, and Freakazoid took the reigns again, "Yeah, I sure hope it is! 'Cause _I'm_ real!" Freakazoid sounded offended at the implication that Dexter thought this entire thing was some imagined farce.

Back to Dexter, "When I said you could come _with_ me," Dexter began pacing, gripping himself to prepare for another unexpected switch, "I didn't mean you could take over my body!"

He switched back to Freakazoid, "I didn't mean to, honest! And would ya really leave me behind in that... place? I'd get lonely! And I don't like being alone! It was scary in there!"

Another switch to Dexter, "If I knew it would lead to this I wouldn't have asked for that _stupid chip_ in the first place!"

"Hey!" there was a pounding on the bathroom door, "You're not the only one who has to take a tinkle!" Duncan shouted from the other side, "And, uh... is everything okay in there? You're yelling... kinda loud..."

Of course, Duncan was here to complicate matters, "D-don't come in! Everything's fine!"

"If everything's _fine_ then stop hogging the bathroom!"

If only there was some way to get Duncan away from the bathroom. He couldn't let Duncan see either of them like this-- he shifted back into Freakazoid, "And why _can't_ he see me?" Freakazoid asked defiantly, hands on hips. Defying Dexter further, he opened the door.

"Took you long... enough..." Duncan stared at the blue man in front of him.

"Hiya! Everything's fine in here! ... Aw, you changed out of your Christmas sweater too," Freakazoid noticed the blue hoodie that Duncan had on now.

"Wh-who are you, and h-how did you get in my house?! Where's _Dexter_?" As Duncan began backing away, debating what there was to do about a weird, blue man appearing in your bathroom with no explanation, Freakazoid peered at Duncan, reaching into Dexter's memories to try and get an idea of who this guy was.

"Ooh... I know who you are..." Freakazoid said ominously, stepping forward, "You're the big brother _bully_!"

"I-- _what--"_

"Let's **_wrassle_ **!" In an instant Freakazoid tackled Duncan to the ground, sitting on Duncan's back and pulling on his leg.

"Ow ow ow, l-lemme go!"

"Ooonly after you repeat after me! Betty bought a bit of butter,"

Duncan paused, bewildered, before Freakazoid pulled on his leg again, "O-ow, fine! Betty bought a bit of butter!"

"But the butter Betty bought was bitter,"

"But the butter Betty bourt--" another pull on Duncan's leg.

_"Bourt?"_

"You try doing a tongue twister while someone is twisting your leg you blue freak _jerk_!"

"Well, not entirely wrong with that buddy," Freakazoid said, continuing the tongue twister, "So Betty bought a bear-- Betty bour-- _Berty_ \-- Bleh," Freakazoid stuck out his tongue, "Alright, you're right, this is hard. And I'm not the one who's got a leg pulled here. Hmm... alright, say you're a weenie!"

"I-I'm a weenie!"

"A super weenie!"

"I'm a super weenie!"

"A super _mega ultra ween--_ "

"LET ME GO BEFORE YOU BREAK MY LEG!"

Freakazoid sighed, loosening his grip on Duncan's leg, "Alright, _fiiine_. You're still not a good sport about this stuff..." Freakazoid got off of Duncan who immediately bolted for the stairs, nearly tumbling down. Before Freakazoid could go after Duncan for round two, he switched back into Dexter.

"You almost broke Duncan's leg! Granted that was... weirdly cathartic, but _still,_ ”

Back to Freakazoid, "Aaw come on, I was only playing! Okay, fine, I wanna go outside!" Freakazoid moved to the stairs, only for Dexter to immediately switch back.

"No, no, no and _no_!" Dexter backed away, only for Freakazoid to switch back and lurch forward, and Dexter would come back and immediately go backward, "There is no way I'm letting you go down these stairs!" Dexter declared.

Freakazoid switched back, arms crossed, "... M'kay," in a flash of light Freakazoid rushed to Dexter's room, cartoonishly wobbling when he stopped. He went to Dexter's window, opening it, "Ooh, Dex, it's snowing outside too! It's a crime to be inside with perfect Christmas weather like this!"

Dexter switched back, foot on the windowsill. "Wh-what are you _doing_ ,"

Back to Freakazoid, "Weeelll, since you said I can't go down the stairs, I gotta take the other route outside instead!"

Dexter came back just as Freakazoid was preparing to leap out, "Nooo, no no no no _nooo_ we're not doing this we are _not--"_ With both of his feet now on the windowsill, he lost his balance, and whoops, now he's falling out the window. The small thought occurred to him that falling sure was a theme today, as he was screaming and wincing at the expected impact that would come from falling face first to the ground from the second story.

Freakazoid came back just as he was about to hit the ground, making a Freakazoid-shaped snow hole. He made a snow angel face down before he lifted his head up, shaking the snow from his face, "So I got super speed but I can't fly? Laaaame..." Freakazoid said disappointed, but that trailed off once he realized he was in the outside world now, "Wooow... Finicula is even better in person!" Freakazoid's eyes shined. Time to explore!


	7. Worst Case Scenario

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wallow in your miserableness as you tend to  
> You've mastered looking unimpressed, do I offend you?  
> Mourning Monday, all week long's not healthy  
> But being happy's only for the wealthy
> 
> Worst Case Scenario - The Hoosiers

Freakazoid stood up, arms in front of him, legs positioned-- all ready to zoom away, _"Wooosh!"_ he made flying noises as he ran down the street. If he didn't have the ability to fly then _pretending_ he could was the next best thing, obviously. He abruptly stopped, tensing, "No!" he shouted, shaking his head, actively resisting Dexter coming back, "I'm out here to have fun! And _you're_ not gonna let me _not_ have any fun! _And no I don't care that was a double negative!"_  
  
"You! You there! With the red suit! And the blue skin!" a British accent called out.   
  
Freakazoid looked around, searching for the British accent that was was calling him. Unless it was _another_ red suited, blue skinned person?   
  
"No-- up _here!"_  
  
Freakazoid looked up.   
  
"Oh, for the love of-- in the _tree!"_ __  
  
It was only when Freakazoid wooshed himself towards the tree that he spotted the stranger that was calling for him. Situated on a branch was a man in a blue, skin-tight suit that wrapped around his head. He wore black boots and a black utility belt, and around his chest was a red sash with a yellow star on it. Behind him was a red cape draped behind his back from his right shoulder. On top of his head was a gold helmet, and on top of that a crest that had some red plumage-- he had to constantly re-adjust it because another branch was moving it. His white gloves clung onto the tree itself as he scowled down at Freakazoid.   
  
Instinctively, Freakazoid grinned and waved at him, "Hiya!"   
  
"Yes, yes, hello, how do you do-- let's get _those_ formalities out of the way. I'm in need of some... assistance."  
  
"Really?"   
  
_"Yes really!"_ the tree branch shook with his annoyance, and tentatively the blue suited man steadied his grip on it, "No no no, keep steady, keep steady now-- there we go." a sigh of relief.   
  
"How'd you even get up there, blue suit guy?" Freakazoid asked.   
  
"Blue-- _blue suit guy?_ Do you _not_ know who I am?"  
  
"Nope!" Freakazoid shook his head.   
  
"You don't know one of the _few_ heroes saving this very city from danger? Why-- the, _the nerve!"_ the tree branch shook again, "You don't know who the one and only _Lord Bravery_ is?! And I EMPHASIZE, one and only _here_ , there is no other! Anyone else who claims to be me is _not_ him!"  
  
"Never heard of him! Is he important?"  
  
Blue suit guy (possibly Lord Bravery?) began rubbing his temples, "Well, I don't know who _you_ are either, so _clearly_ you're just some clueless tourist just, just milling about. Yes, that's _exactly_ why you haven't heard of the stupendous Lord Bravery. Everyday I regret moving to a vacation hot spot, if it weren't for that _bakery_ I'd be--" he was interrupted by a slight crack, and he quickly re-stabilized himself in the tree, "Are... are we good now? Not going to collapse on me? Good. Now, I need _you_ to help me get down from this tree."   
  
"But how'd you get stuck up there?" Freakazoid repeated.  
  
"Really? _Really?_ While I'm in _peril_ of falling out of this tree at any moment, you think _that's_ important to know?" he groaned in aggravation, "But, fine, fine, to _sate_ your curiosity, it started when an old woman had her cat stuck up in a tree, _this_ tree. And me being the upstanding hero that I am, I can't just _deprive_ an old woman from a good Christmas with her pet, now can I? So I make my way up the tree-- _very_ hard task when you're not experienced in climbing trees, by the way-- And just what am I rewarded with when I _valiantly_ climb all the way up here, and finally reach the creature?"   
  
"Did'ya rescue the kitty?" Freakazoid asked eagerly.   
  
"The question was _rhetorical_ you _blue buffoon!"_ Lord Bravery chided, scowling.  
  
"Well you still asked..." Freakazoid crossed his arms.   
  
"Anyways," Lord Bravery cleared his throat, "When I do get up there, the furry beast jumps out of the tree with no problem at all! As if they were _taunting_ me by _pretending_ to be _stuck!"_  
  
"So you did rescue the kitty!"   
  
"ANYWAYS," Lord Bravery continued on, his fury swaying the branch he was in, "The little good news to even be _had_ in such a situation is that the cat did return to their owner. But I nary heard even a word of _thanks_ from that old lady! As usual, I get the short end of things-- _I_ get _stuck_ in the _tree!_ Why, I could have gone ahead and minded my own business, not even coming out on _Christmas_ if I knew I'd end up in this situation! I could be..." a pause as a slight look of regret came upon his face, "... Anyhow, does _that_ answer your question?"   
  
Freakazoid pondered this, "Weeelll... what about getting out of the tree?"   
  
"You mean what I _asked you earlier?"_ a sigh, "Okay, fine, I'm glad you're finally cooperating-- Just, just _what_ are you doing _now?"_   
  
"I'm waiting for you to jump down so I can catch you!" Freakazoid said, arms outstretched expectantly.   
  
"What-- no!" Lord Bravery scrunched his nose.   
  
"Well why not?" Freakazoid's arms dipped a little.   
  
"Because-- _because_ how do I _know_ if you'll really catch me? Why what if, what if I jump, and you slide out of the way? I don't know if I can really trust you! Or, perhaps even drop me _after_ you catch me onto the cold, hard concrete!" Lord Bravery backed into the tree branch as much as he could, "And _now_ what the devil are you doing?!"  
  
Freakazoid was trying to shimmy his way up the tree, at least making it an inch off of the ground, "I'm gonna climb this tree to get you down!"  
  
"No-- no no no no ** _no!_** Get down at once before you-- you rip your suit or something! ... Are you even _wearing_ a suit?"   
  
Freakazoid made it down the entire inch he'd climbed, "They're my pajamas!"  
  
Lord Bravery covered his face with his hand, "What kind of... Alright, you know how you can _really_ make yourself useful? Actually go and get someone who can help me _out_ of this predicament!"  
  
Freakazoid paused, "Couldn't you climb down yourself? If you're really good at climbing up, then climbing down shouldn't be that bad!"  
  
"And risk injuring myself? From _this_ height? Are you _aware_ of how much a sprained ankle hurts?"  
  
"No--"  
  
"It _hurts_ quite a _lot,_ for your information! Not to mention, what if I should tarnish my suit by climbing down? What if I rip it? This was a _VERY_ expensive thing to commission! Now, off, you!" he made an away gesture with his hand, like Freakazoid was a dog, "Go find someone useful!"  
  
"Okay _fiiine,"_ Freakazoid whined, sulking away, "Mister meanie British pants can stay in that tree for all _I_ care," he turned a corner into an alleyway, "Wait, _no--"_ despite his struggling, Dexter was back in a flash of light. He looked around, disoriented-- god, it was _only_ for like, some minutes, and not hours or _days,_ right? This was getting worse. This was getting _so_ much worse-- at this rate that literal Freakazoid was going to take over his body.   
  
"I-I, I need--" he tensed, electricity sparking around him, "No! Stop-- I need... I-I need to get help." oh, smart move Dex, find who's going to help you with the day one _blue man glitch_. What are you going to do, go to Apex Industries and say _'hey, bug report: I'm turning into a blue guy randomly!'_ __  
  
"You need help."   
  
Dexter turned around to be met with a woman, dressed like she just came out of a business office, orange hair that came to her shoulders.   
  
"Uh... I-I mean, I don't, um, b-blame you for that, uh, impression?" Dexter didn't know what to expect anymore, "How much did you... see?"  
  
"I saw that you need help." her voice was unnervingly calm. There was no inflection to it. On her face, there was no emotion.   
  
Of course, this was the opportune time for Freakazoid to pop out again in a bundle of blue electricity, "Ooh, can you help me with getting mister grumpy British man out of that tree? __Can ya?"  
  
"Follow me," the woman said, a noticeable pause, "for help."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey so guess who's still working on this! it's me! long story, life stuff has happened that has made working on this more... difficult, but i really do want to update more. anyways something that i hope will mitigate the wait: more redesigns! here's a [Jill](https://i.imgur.com/HYVb1Vj.png) redesign and of our main boy, [Freakazoid!](https://i.imgur.com/8h9Uu4U.png), both done by the lovely [Grif-ball.](http://grif-ball.tumblr.com/)  
> 


End file.
